The Waiting Game: Waiting for Him to Choose You

“Maybe when I get my shit together, we can...”

“ I enjoy what we have now, we don’t need titles.”

“I’ll hurt you if we get together now, just give me time.”

“I can see this going somewhere in the future, but no rush.”

“I want you, but I’m playing the field...you know looking at my options.”

As women, we’re all guilty of waiting for a man to act right, figure himself out, or just to finally choose us. We give excuses to their unacceptable behavior and continue hoping that he’ll eventually realize our worth. We allow him to sporadically enter in and out of our lives. We watch as he enjoys himself at different places, with different things, and even different women. We sit around trying to maintain the image of a “wife” so we’re prepared when he finally takes us off the waitlist. The real question then becomes: Why are we waiting? Why are we allowing someone to keep us from our highest potential?

I’ve been guilty of waiting for someone who I should have left in the same place I found him. I invested into him and aimed to prove myself as the right choice. I spent so much time just waiting for him to stop with the mind games, the lies, and actually be emotionally available.

The entire time I spent playing the waiting game was time I could have propelled myself further in my career. That time I spent moving around his game board just made me aware of how valuable I am. I realized that my time is just as valuable as his time, if not more. I don’t have to wait around for a man to “see me” because they have men who know what they want from day one. As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to accept that dating several guys reveals what I want for myself. I was inclined to focusing on one guy and waiting for him to do right by me. While other men with good intentions just watched as I stayed stupid for “Mr. Potential”. They may not have been my husband, but they were men who could have taught me something. Yet, I was busy playing the waiting game.

The harsh truth is that the guy you’re waiting for sees you, he’s just hoping you’ll stay stupid over him as you wait. He knew the prize you were when he met you. So stop allowing your “potential guy” to keep you away from your husband. Stop letting them temporarily come into your life and block your view of what you deserve. The reality is that some men want us to wait until they’re done being community penis to act right.