My Brain On Love

Dear Little Black Girl,

You are the prize, always will be. They’ll either rise up to meet your standards or fade away as you elevate. Even without a king, a queen is still a queen...


As the days draw closer and closer to me obtaining my singleness again, I find myself reflecting on what I want from love. I know many of you are like what the hell? However, let me explain what I mean. Mentally, I was working on self and healing long before the relationship ended. The saying does hold true that once the mind leaves the body will follow. I think every woman knows the day when she’s over the relationship. I don’t know if it’s a gut instinct, a feeling, or a lightbulb moment, but you just know. I took a year to heal, find myself, and revisit what I want from the next person. The thing about ending relationships is that you discover hidden qualities of yourself. You discover how you love, how you change for love, and you discover part of your drive for life.

The definition of love and dating differs for everyone. This is in no way a road map to the perfect guy for me, but it’s a general consensus of qualities I expect. I’m aware that dating has changed tremendously. I have no interest in rushing into my next relationship. I’m interested in building a friendship and discovering the small, intricate, details of a person. I feel that if the the friendship is solid then the relationship will flow. You cannot build any relationship without a foundation. A foundation is essential in building a house and that same theory applies to dating. I feel that friendship shows the true characteristics of a person. You get to see the true colors of how someone operates when they’re happy, sad, frustrated, etc. I want a different type of love this time around. I want someone to hand me the world on silver platter in a sense. I want someone courteous, romantic, sociable, carefree, hardworking, chivalrous, and all about me. I want to love his family just as he’ll love mine. I want a healthy relationship with someone, who understands everyday won’t be smooth sailing. I want open communication and intellectual conversations about life. I want someone, who is accepting of my sexuality. I want him to love the fact that I like girls who like girls, while still understanding that no one can replace him. The type of love I hope to find won’t be defined by social media or presumed relationship goals. I need someone, who is secure in who they are and what they’re trying to build. I want to make

memories and create experiences. I want to travel, spontaneous baecations, inside jokes no one gets, and memories that even pictures can’t describe. I don’t know when I’ll find that type of love or if I’ve found it already. I just know that I want something real and genuine. The next person I date seriously I’m looking to build and invest in both of our dreams. I want to love the pieces of you that aren’t that easy to love or talk about. I want to hear about those childhood stories that embarrass you, while learning about those moments you thought you would never overcome. The love I require doesn’t have room for mediocrity or indecisiveness. I just want to spend the rest of my life with someone who always chooses me. So here’s my brain on love...


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