I started Black Girl Magic Unscripted on a whim. With no clue on what I would do and how I would maintain it. I made myself vulnerable for this blog because I believed in it. A year ago this blog was just an idea I kicked around in my head until someone said to actually do it. In that year, I’ve grown in so many ways, and so many aspects have changed for me. However, not without challenges and hurdles. The thing about this blog though is that it’s a reflection of what I’ve been through. It’s also a reflection of where I plan to go. This blog isn’t an analysis of my life or for anyone to judge my character. Its the total opposite. I leave my story up for women just like me who think that it doesn’t get better.
There were so many days I wanted to give up. Yet, my support system didn’t let up. Even though it may have decreased in size, the love they gave was tremendous. A year ago, I wasn’t this person you see. I had toxic traits that I didn’t want to deal with. I was passive-aggressive, hurtfully honest, and I never found fault in what I did. Talk about a mess! I also allowed people to dictate parts of my life that they hadn’t even opened the door to. Silly of me thinking about it now. Most importantly, I remember crying and praying to God for a peace of mind. I was genuinely lost. I had become so entwined into what people wanted me to be. In the last 12 months, I’ve been an angel to some people and everything, but a child of God to others. I fall short daily, and that’s something I never deny.
This blog is a constant reminder that everyone is capable of evolving. This blog is evidence in how much can truly change within a year. During this process of blogging, I’ve lost people that meant the most to me. My intention was never to hurt them, but to heal me. However, I find peace in my losses knowing that I’m helping someone else in another capacity. You have to be open to wanting the change...even if it hurts like hell.
I’m always growing, always learning, and always questioning. The one thing I’ve learned in this time is that you have to remain teachable. I wake up each day with a lust for life now. To be more than accolades and titles on a piece of paper. For so long, I thought I didn’t deserve to be happy or loved. I allowed others to distort my views on love and ultimately myself. I vowed I would never allow that to happen again. In the past year, I’ve been the topic of many conversations. My choices have been questioned by people who don’t know me once they log off. I’ve been judged by people who’ve sat in my presence and others who will never get close to me in this lifetime. Oh, don’t forget the labels and phrases...stalker...hater...wildin’ out...doing the most...and the list continues. I’ve experienced harassment on my job, phone calls, and even the occasional person hiding in my mom’s trees. However, I made it a priority to never allow that to deter my purpose. I’m not apologizing for how I’m perceived anymore. I can only prove my character to those who choose to see the light in me. My life is more than my social media post and my blog entries. I made a promise to myself to enjoy the moments as they happen. I’m choosing to be a participant in my life versus a spectator. I still have bad days, but I’m choosing to find the peace in each day. I’m choosing to remain thankful even in unknown circumstances. I’m proof that beauty comes from dark places and things. So, I’m sorry if you missed the light in me. However, I hope that with each blog entry that you find it. I hope that with each entry you learn a little more about who I am and who you are. I also hope that one entry resonates in your life. It goes to show what 365 days can really do, if you believe in self. I’m looking forward to the next the 365 days and the post that will follow. A year later, I’m happy to share that BGMUnscripted has gained more than 80 subscribers, has made 37 dope, inspirational entries to date, and has been viewed, shared, and visited over 53,000 times. Happy Anniversary to Black Girl Magic Unscripted!
Thanks for being my saving grace.🤞🏾❤️