Fake Love: Evaluating The Quality of Your Friendships

Having friends is truly a blessing. I have some amazing friends to be honest. In some of my weakest moments they expressed to me many confirmations (another word for viewpoint) needed to get through hard times. I love my circle, but even knowing and loving your circle you have to understand we all have moods. Our moments of ups and downs. Our moments of misunderstanding and miscommunication, Yet, a true friend is able to recognize your patterns or habits. A true friend knows the intent behind a statement or interaction—if they truly know and understand you.

Friendship is about more than a photo op, brunch dates, and people that are yes people. It's about raw but constructive honesty and love. A real friend will tell you when they see you tripping or living beneath your potential. One of my closest friends of 15 years has always kept her word in checking me when I slip. She and I have always told one another we would not be friends with one another if we saw the other doing dumb shit. Our famous quote “I’m not going to help you fuck up your life”. So many friends watch as their friends slowly lose the light they are capable of shining. I digress though.

We've learned to let each other make mistakes, stopped talking for periods of time, but still supported one another. We basically are so close we tell one another when we see them going down the wrong track, if the other doesn’t listen we back off. Friends are truly amazing if you have healthy ones with boundaries. Then, you have those “friends” that really fall under the associate category but it's almost like they self-propel them higher on your chain than what you had planned for them. Those are the ones you need to watch. Those fake friends are the ones who only call you when they need something, or silently hate. The ones who only clap for you when your win does not take away from them. Those fake friends that are in knee deep of your business swearing and professing they are on your side. Yet. all the while they dislike you or are trying to advance on your behalf. Beware of false friends with good intentions. A fox dressed in sheepskin is still a fox--sly and slick as they come. Use discernment and it will help eliminate drama and unnecessary trauma.