My love life has always been something that I’ve been open about. Because why not share the love someone has for me with others? Yet, life has taught me the last few years that some parts of your life shouldn’t be for everyone. I’ve made the mistake of sharing and in the end I looked foolish. Although, I know that sharing had nothing to do with someone’s moral code—somethings are better left unsaid.
I get asked about my love life and dating often. I get the occasional speculations on if I’m single or who is in the picture. My last relationship ended months ago due to the fault of no one in particular. It was just a matter of two people going in two different directions. That relationship ending might come as a shock to most of you. As I never publicly shared the end of that chapter in my life. I didn’t find it necessary to tell the world. Simply because you’ve already made the assumption of what you want to believe. I’ve learned to heal and figure out my life in private. It gives me a chance to deal with my emotions without the speculation of the world. I’m allowed to feel without the assumption that I’m fragile. We often allow people to dictate and influence how we feel about someone. We allow their perception to warp the reality of what’s in front of us. As much as we try not to—we change our outlook. Those thoughts creep up on us at night and we start to replay every scenario in our head. I’ve done that before and missed out on people that might have been beneficial to me. Although, I do believe we don’t miss anything that is truly meant for us. The truth is I have to sit with myself at times and ask this question: If the world didn’t know it existed would you still believe in magic? Would I still believe that everything was possible without knowing how it would come to fruition? Then, I realize that I believe in many things until the world clouds my judgment. Not with concrete answers, but with assumptions and scenarios of what could go wrong.
So I know you’re asking so what’s the status sus? Single or nah? The answer isn’t that complex.
Truthfully, I’m enjoying the moments that I create for myself right now. They aren’t dependent on anyone. I am able to fully be content with myself. I find joy in being the own source of my happiness. My love life isn’t a secret, but I owe it to myself and someone’s son to explore life without hesitation. I don’t want him to feel as if he has to win me over and the people that come with me. I’m going to allow him to prove himself without the world waiting for him to slip up or revert to a pattern as most guys do. Love or dating isn’t about it being ideal for those around you—just ideal for YOU. Besides no one has the perfection definition of what a relationship should be. So why are we taking advice from people who are trying to figure it out themselves? So I’m okay with being a “no face, no case” woman these days. Simply because I understand that privacy is the biggest protection against unwarranted opinions. My privacy doesn’t mean secrecy, it just means not now or ever if necessary. I want to enjoy moments for what they are these days. Although, I’m not dating or entertaining anyone in any capacity; I am going to say that I’m smiling more these days. More so because I know what I desire and I have faith that it will be in the right time. Until then, I’ll continue to enjoy the company of my, myself, and I.